The Hungries

There isn't a lot of positive reinforcement early in pregnancy. Sure, there's the fun of peeing on sticks to see what your future may hold, like some kind of gross magic eight-ball. And after 20 minutes of invasive poking and prodding as your doctor gets to know you VERY well, you are rewarded with the rapid bum-bum-bum of the tiny heartbeat that PROVES you were not imagining things when peeing on all of those sticks. But that's about it.

Instead of sporting that "pregnant silhouette" that advertises to everyone that you are growing a human (and that the last piece of cheesecake is automatically YOURS so people had just better BACK OFF!) you are instead left feeling rather "thick" around the waistline. Your clothes don't really fit anymore and you feel very dumpy and people wonder if maybe you just enjoyed yourself a little too much over the holidays and need to get your butt back in gear. And while later in pregnancy you receive the little kicks and jabs that the little tiny person inside of you does to say "Hey, I'm still doing just fine in here!" the only sign you really have early on that things are going well is the constant feeling of nausea, malaise, and just plain blah. It's kind of a warped system.

There is also the phenomenon that I call "The Hungries". Your nauseous, pukey self can be valiantly attempting to chase your toddler around the playground when all of a sudden, The Hungries hit and you need food. Right now. Immediately if not sooner. The your-kid-better- not-want-those-apples-and-graham-crackers-you-brought-for-her-because-they-are-GONE kind of hungry. And they show up regardless of the fact that you have carefully spaced out your meals and snacks and brought extra snacks just in case. It's like they know when you've eaten the last granola bar in your bag and are poised to strike when you have no defenses against them.

My husband learned about The Hungries the hard way during my first pregnancy. There were times that I felt like that ginormous plant from Little Shop of Horrors that yells "Feed Me!" because he didn't really take the first ten requests to stop for food seriously. I have noticed a great improvement this time around when it comes to keeping me fed, probably because he has had to deal with our toddler when she is hungry and knows that I can throw an even better tantrum.

Yesterday, I was grocery shopping when The Hungries hit. It was not pretty. We are not big juice drinkers, but for some reason I NEEDED juice and put a big gallon of OJ into my cart. It took all of my will power not to open the thing right there and gulp half of it down (I waited, of course, until we got out to the parking lot like the decorous pregnant lady I am...) My biggest downfall, however, was the deli section. Despite the fact that my husband is on a business trip and wouldn't be home for two more days, I ended up with a rotisserie chicken, a big tub of mashed potatoes, some kind of gourmet soup, and, just because they sounded good, avocados. The plan was to have the soup for lunch and the chicken for dinner (AND lunch the next day...) but as I was unpacking the groceries at home, that stupid chicken just smelled so GOOD and five minutes later, my toddler and I were having chicken and mashed potatoes and peas for lunch. I don't think Thanksgiving has tasted better. By the end of the day, the poor chicken looked like a bunch of ravenous vultures had descended upon it.

Do NOT mess with The Hungries.